Self Love and Christianity: Are They Compatible?
In Genesis 1:26-27 we see a beautiful scene take place. God creates man in His own image. This means that every human being who has ever lived or ever will live is born in the Imago Dei and are as a result, every human being has intrinsic value, worth, dignity, and are the crowning jewel of God’s creation. People, all, are image bearers of Almighty God. As a result, we should find great joy in who we are created to be, but can this idea of loving who we are created to be become something it was never intended?
A current cultural phenomenon is taking place before our very eyes. It is something which is seemingly innocuous, but at the root is antithetical to the Christian worldview. It is a movement which, when examined appears to be about simply having a better self-esteem, but upon closer inspection is far more than what it appears. It is the movement called Self-Love. Now, before I dive too deeply into this, let me say a few things that I’m NOT saying just to clear up any future confusion on the issue.
I’m not saying people are to hate themselves. Often times when I’ve spoken out against this ideology, there is an accusation that I’m asking people to hate themselves innately and to find no value in their personhood. This is untrue. People should love themselves, but that love should be grounded in the person of Christ and the identity found therein, rather than just in the person themselves. The other thing I’m NOT saying, is that human beings have no value. Indeed, one of the greatest arguments for the existence of God lies in the fact that human beings are intrinsically and inexplicably valuable.
So, if these are the things I’m NOT trying to communicate, what is it that I am trying to say? There is a vital differentiation between the value and love we have for ourselves by finding our identity in Christ and the current and dangerous self-love movement. Self-love promotes happiness and love of self over literally everything else. The following quote is taken directly from the self-love movement website,
“Self-Love is the act of putting your own happiness & well-being first, something that is lacking within our current society. It all starts with SELF.[1]
It’s pretty evident, even from their own admission, the happiness of self is chief. But why is this a problem?
Let’s start with happiness being the goal. The reality is this, if anyone sets happiness as their focal point, they will continue to be greatly disappointed when it comes and goes. This is because happiness does not stick around indefinitely. It is incredibly fragile and can be shattered just as quickly as it is received. Happiness is predicated almost completely on our circumstances and surroundings. In other words, if the main focus is on happiness, then what is needed for that to be achieved is perfect conditions in all situations. When, as they always do, those situations and conditions change, your search for happiness is left wanting. The other issue to contend with here is the idea that you are the measure of all things. Self-love movements may not be explicitly claiming it, but their root is not in Scripture but in humanism. Humanism is the renaissance philosophy which engenders that man is the measure of all things, and that human experience and logic are the chief teachers.
This is clearly problematic because the Bible declares that what is wrong with the world is, well, us. We are broken rebellious creatures who continue to seek solace, comfort, and satisfaction within ourselves and then wonder why find none of those things are within us. So then, how should we as Christ followers respond to the self-love movement? Well I think our first response has to be to consult the pages of Scripture. 2 Timothy 3:2-4 offers a startling response,
For people will be lovers of self, lovers of money, proud, arrogant, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, heartless, unappeasable, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not loving good,treacherous, reckless, swollen with conceit, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God (ESV).
Note the first thing mentioned here. Lovers of self is mentioned in a pejorative context. It is not something to be associated with the mark of a believer. Why? Because to love yourself in this context is the same thing as believing you are sufficient. But throughout the OT and NT we find the opposite is true. We are not sufficient at all, only Jesus is. Scripture never ever promises happiness, but it does promise joy. Joy is markedly different because it depends not on our circumstances, but on Jesus, in spite of our circumstances.
We find in Psalm 16:11 that to be in the presence of God is where the culmination and fullness of joy emanate. So our joy is found, not in self or our own worth, but it is found completely in Jesus. This is why it is imperative for the Christian to rest upon this foundational truth and instead of embracing self, we DIE to self. Luke 9:23-24 says,
“ And he said to all, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it” (ESV).
This same sentiment is found in places like Eph. 4:22-24, Galatians 2;20, Romans 12:1-2, Philippians 1:21, etc. The call of Christ is the call to die. Die to self and live in Jesus.
I want to say one final thing. Many turn to self-love to combat depression, insecurity, lack of purpose, etc. In no way am I trying assuage the reality of depression or mental health. I personally have dealt with depression for many years. Rather, what I’m saying is that in seeking to find answers within yourself, find them in Jesus. Grace Lieu puts it marvelously,
“The gospel empowers us not only to acknowledge our weakness, but also to boast in it, for God’s “power is made perfect in weakness” (2 Cor. 12:9). In Christ, there is no place for self-glorification nor self-loathing, because our new identity as God’s children has been freely bestowed upon us.”[2]
In 2020, so many people are looking to self for the answers, but they will come woefully short of finding it there. Rather, we must look to the Author and Perfector of our faith. Self cannot fix self, only Jesus can do that.
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[1] The Self Love Movement. (n.d.). Retrieved December 25, 2020, from https://theself-lovemovement.com/about/
[2] Lieu, G. (2019, August 26). What the Bible says about love of self. Retrieved December 26, 2020, from https://erlc.com/resource-library/articles/what-the-bible-says-about-love-of-self/